Fake Reporter

So today I had the urge to be a fake reporter.  The whole train was packed like sardines and people were standing all over the place.  There was this one lady sitting all by herself in one chair and her purse was getting a nice ride in the chair next to her.  Here is what I wanted to do, yes I had this whole conversation in my head this morning.

"Hi, I'm writing a story about the Metro where I will be talking about the people, the schedules and all the strange and wonderful things we see daily.  Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?  No, great.  So my first question is do you take the train daily?  Ok great.  So tell me do you purchase one or two tickets every day? Oh really only one, hmm.  So my final question is then if you only buy one ticket everyday how come you feel like you deserve to take 2 seats daily while 10-20 other people are standing the whole time?  Yes, I am serious.  No I am not actually writing an article I just wanted to meet someone who felt like they were better than other people and deserved to have to seat. Thanks and have a good day."