The Week Magazine taught me this

The first step in confronting a problem, I'm told, is to admit you have one.  So let's go on with it: I suffer from Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome.  LOL this was a statement made by the editor William Falk.  Funny thing is I suffer from the same problem!  People with PAS walk on crowded city sidewalks in very brisk and directed manner, and have zero patience for those who dawdle or, worse yet, stop short to read or respond to a text.  When they do impede our progress, we dodge among the dawdlers like a halfbacks, muttering insults and fantasizing about violence. This last part is not me, no violence, but the muttering. LOL.  At times, we even display "a mean face" as we rush past.  So true, shame on me...or wait and you guys too!  I know there are some of you out there that do the same thing.

One is never cured of PAS, of course one can only enter into a process of continuing recovery.  In that spirit, it might help us if the dawdlers, fellow pedestrians, followed some simple common sense rules.

1. Please note the sidewalks are like highways, and they have lanes.  Ok maybe they are not marked by while lines,m but there are lanes nonetheless.
2. Do not drift across the sidewalk without checking over your shoulder.  Your are very likely in my way.  
3. Do not stop short, like a car suddenly braking in traffic, every time some pointless text or tweet or call pings your phone.  Pull over to the side. Or something awful might happen.

I might even display my "mean face" and we both don;t want that to happen do we?

I thought this was funny and quite fitting for the blog and we do this on trains too.  LOL

Are your eyes broken?

I am guessing they are because there is a sign right in front of you that says "No Loud Music". Maybe you are one of those people that think the rules don't apply to you. You are above it all. Wow, I love myself but I know I am no better than everyone else. The worst part about it is your music is very offensive. There are children on this train and they don't need to hear that stuff.

Oh look you turned of your music, did you know you were being written about? Thank you for the peace and quiet. By the way if you music wasn't so loud and obnoxious I wouldn't have minded. Nor would i have written about you.

Fake Reporter

So today I had the urge to be a fake reporter.  The whole train was packed like sardines and people were standing all over the place.  There was this one lady sitting all by herself in one chair and her purse was getting a nice ride in the chair next to her.  Here is what I wanted to do, yes I had this whole conversation in my head this morning.

"Hi, I'm writing a story about the Metro where I will be talking about the people, the schedules and all the strange and wonderful things we see daily.  Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?  No, great.  So my first question is do you take the train daily?  Ok great.  So tell me do you purchase one or two tickets every day? Oh really only one, hmm.  So my final question is then if you only buy one ticket everyday how come you feel like you deserve to take 2 seats daily while 10-20 other people are standing the whole time?  Yes, I am serious.  No I am not actually writing an article I just wanted to meet someone who felt like they were better than other people and deserved to have to seat. Thanks and have a good day."

Short and Sweet

Today someone sat on me.

The end

Thank you

Dear Metro Driver Mike,
Thank you so much for stopping the whole train for me this morning. You are super duper.

Hello honey...

Hi honey, hey I will be home later then usual. I feel asleep on the train and I missed my stop. Yes I feel asleep. What? It happens. Said the 30 something robust lady in front of me on the train. The best part is she must be lying because she was no where near the station stops she said she slept through. Lol

Elevators? Yes I am adding elevator stories to the blog.

But before I do that I have to mention that I an currently on the train listening to the conversation of two drag queens. Lol pretty darn funny, but you really have to be here to truly appreciate it.

On to elevators. Here is a little background:my current office building at the Times has 10 floors and I am on the 9th. Though there are days that I actually walk up or down the complete 9 floors, most days I take the elevator. It seems that I have become an elevator snob. Let me explain that. I have started to think that all elevators should work up and down like they do but they should not be able to only go up one or even two floors. Yes I realize that there are people in this world who are unable to walk up or downstairs, but those are not the people I will write about in this here blog.

Elevator post #1- the other day as I was on the elevator making my way down to the first floor, the elevator abruptly stopped at the 2nd floor where a very health looking man stepped on to ride the ONE SINGLE FLOOR DOWN. My only thought was REALLY? You waited longer for the elevator then it would have taken for you to walk down those what 10 maybe 12 stairs to the first floor. Bitter elevator rider party of one is here! Good times. Good times.